2 Pounds and Counting!!

Gabe is doing quite well. He has been on the nasal cannula for over a week. And still tolerating it. Gabe now weighs 2 lbs (even). Now if he has a good poop, he may be back under 2 lbs. You know how boys are!
Nothing really new has happened the last few days. He is up to 9 cc's on breast milk. And they are now adding extra calories to the milk. That should help him to grow and gain strength.
Having a preemie in the NICU is a waiting game. You wait for something big to happen. You wait for them to grow. You wait for them to quite having spells. You wait for them the learn to breath on their own. You wait for them to be able to keep their temperature up. You wait for them to be big enough to wear clothes. You wait for them to learn to eat with a bottle. And while you wait for all of this to happen, you pray hard that nothing bad happens. Because if something bad happens, then you have to wait for it to be resolved. Then you are waiting AGAIN to catch back up to where you were- because you usually have to start all over again.
Gabe is now 3 weeks old. I got to hold him again today. Gabe was awake the whole time I was holding him. Greg got alot of good pictures of him with his eyes open. The best one we got was of him smiling. Yes, even 2 lb babies smile. It may have been gas, but I am calling it a smile :-)

Gabe had big eyes for his daddy. He watched Greg the whole time.

We did try to get a movie of his little "noises", but he only done them when the movie stopped.
Thanks for all the continued prayers. God has really touch Gabe and us. We know that God's hand has been on Gabe (and us) since the beginning.

Daddy Love

On Sunday, I decided to let Greg hold Gabe. We easily forget how "light" our 1 lb children are until we hold them. And to be honest, Gabe is a "fatty" compared to Jacob. You are always scared when holding these mini babies. You have to deal with all types of tubes. And you have to deal with alarms that go off, sometimes for no reason and other times because their heart rate OR oxygen level has dropped. And you always worry if you are disconnecting something.
Gabe is still on the nasal cannula (which still surprises us & I am knocking on wood right now). He is on little to no oxygen. We did have to stop feeding him for awhile. He decided on Sunday to have green stuff in his belly. They did a xray and said his belly looked normal. But they stopped his feeding. Jacob had SEVERE reflux. I hope Gabe does not have reflux. If you have ever had a child with it, you can still smell it YEARS later. The memory of the smell NEVER leaves you!!! Then on Tuesday, he was given blood. He is back on milk today- 2cc's every 3 hours. He is still hanging out at 1 lb 11 oz. He did make it up to 1 lb 13oz, but the green stuff happened. And I still HATE pumping.

I can already see that Gabe has a personality. If he doesn't like something, he lets you know by dropping his heart rate. He opens his eyes looks around and decides IF he wants to stay awake or not. The bed he is in reminds me of a fish tank. I sometimes peck on the outside of it. Then I think of the little girl in the dentist office on Finding Nemo. Instead of saying Fishy wake up, I say wake up Gabe. He probably wishes he had a sign that says, "Do Not Tap on My Home".
I am hoping that Gabe is 2 lbs by his 1 month b'day. It took Jacob 7 weeks to make it to 2 lbs, and I don't think I have to patience for that again. Normally, preemies come home around their due date (Gabe's was 5/17). Jacob shot that theory out of the water. He loved the NICU so much, he decided to stay for 7 months. I will be honest, if this adventures last well into the summer, you might find me in a home for Crazy Mommas.
Please remember all of us in your prayers. Greg's job will be ending soon, please pray that there is a job out there for him and that we find it SOON! Please pray that Jacob can learn to handle that I am not at school with him. And please remember me--I need to keep my strength and my sanity during all of this. And please pray that Gabe grows stronger (and bigger) everyday.

To Good To Be True???

Things have been going quite well for us--ALMOST to well. When asked how Gabe is, Greg and I are almost to scared to say GREAT!!
On Wednesday, I got to kangaroo hold Gabe again. Sometimes in pictures Gabe looks bigger than he really is. SO, here is a picture of him in my hands. Its hard to see Gabe's face with c-pap machine on him. I have started calling it the Rhino mask.

They think that since Gabe is stable enough, that we will start holding him every other day (when possible). Since I have held him a few times now, I think I will let Greg have a turn every now and then. Here is a picture of Greg and I with Gabe.

It seems werid how fast and well things are going. Things were always SO SLOW with Jacob. Jacob took MANY detours off the path to going home. Gabe seems to be staying on the path. Maybe he knows that home is a fun place. Maybe he knows that Jacob has tons of Hot Wheels, and he wants to play too!!
Gabe is hanging out at 1 lb 12 oz. He is now up to 4 cc's on breast milk and he will be up to 5 cc's by the end of today. And may I add, I ABSOLUTELY hate pumping!!! Gabe is quite active. He lets you know when he DOES NOT like something. He loves to sleep on his tummy. And sometimes he cracks his eyes, looks to see who's around, and then closes them back. His second brain scan came back, and again it showed NO signs of a brain bleed. THANK GOD!!!
When I went to visit Gabe today (friday), I had a nice little surprise. Gabe is now on a nasal cannula. He is doing quite well on it. It is nice to actually be able to see his face. We know that this may not last long term, but its nice to know that he is doing it right now with no problems.

Jacob is having a hard time dealing with the fact I am not at school with him. From the time he gets home from school, until he leaves for school the next morning, I have to hear how much he wants to stay home with me. And yes, there have been tears.
Funny Jacob story..... He was talking to my mom on the phone last night. He asked her where she was. She told him that her and my dad were eating at Red Lobster. Jacob told her how much he missed eating out and that we never get to go eat out anymore. My mom asked him why, if it was because I was not feeling well. Jacob replied, "I don't know she's just always in her PJ's when I get home from school." And I am in my PJ's by usually 2pm.

Jacob has only since Gabe the day he was born. It looks like it will be April before he can go into the NICU to visit. Since we don't have grandparents close, there has been lots of trying to figure out what to do with him. When Jacob was in the NICU, I went during the day. Then Greg and I both went back at night. With Jacob at home, we are unable to do this. Since Greg works from home, he takes a long lunch and we go at lunch.
Thank You for all the prayers that have been sent up in our name. Please continue to remember us. Saturday will be 2 weeks since our journey began.

The SWEETEST sound!!

Today we went and made our daily visit to the NICU. Gabe is still on the cpap and doing well. When we walked in, they were about to give him an IV. He was quite mad about this WHOLE situation. So much so, that he was crying. His cry is like a newborn kitten. Now you have to keep in mind we NEVER heard Jacob cry.
When Jacob was 4 months old, he had a tracheostomy (trach) placed. A trach is placed at the base of your neck. Its a plastic tube that acts like a nose in your throat. The sad thing, it is placed under your vocal cords and vocal folds. And in order to talk or even cry, air must pass over your vocal cords. So, I said all of that to say this...Jacob was 3 yrs old before we heard him talk, cry or even laugh. Now, he was noisy even though he was mute. He made all types of mouth noises and he could whistle. His ENT is still confused to this day that he could whistle. But my grandpa or Poppie as Jacob calls him, taught him how to whistle. And Jacob is actually good at it!!
Back to Gabe--- He was crying. Greg's eyes got HUGH and said listen to him. When Gabe was born, he cried 3 times quite loud before they put him on the vent tube. Greg did not go into the OR with me. Yes, I did it alone. (Greg can't handle the whole blood, guts and gore thing)
The nurse said it was good that he was crying like he was. That he was mad, crying and yet still able to breathe, keep his heart rate up (and boy was it up!)and keep his oxygen level stable.
Once they were done with his IV, he was still unhappy. He kept looking at Greg and I (or at least in my mind he was). He kept waving his arms and kicking his feet. It was clear that he did NOT like his position. He is NOT a back sleeper. Once he was moved to his right side, he gave Greg and I one last sleepy look, put his hand on his cheek and went to sleep.
We have no idea how long this run of good luck will last. One thing we have found from past experience is that, sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel REALLY is just an oncoming train. We do have faith and we do believe that God can and will do all things. But sometimes our time table is different from his. You can't compare our situation to anyone else's, because everyone's situation in life is different. Wouldn't it be nice if there really was an EASY button for life?

Gabe's GREAT weekend!!

This weekend has been FULL of surprises for us and for Gabe. Gabe now weighs 1 lb 12oz (he had dropped to 1lb 9oz). He is tolerating his 1cc of breast milk, so now he is getting it every 3 hrs instead of every 6 hrs. They decided to add caffeine to his milk a few times a day. I guess he misses his daily morning 99 cent large from Sonic. Today they decided to try something new. They took him off of his vent and put him on a c-pap machine. This is like a machine someone with sleep apnea would use at night. He is still on very little oxygen, 27% ( we breath 21%). He did decided today to open his eyes. They are only opened a little. And of course, he looks like he has blue eyes. Yes, they could still change- still hoping for brown eyes. Every time I would talk to him, he would respond by opening his eyes. He knows his mommy's voice. I guess if I had yelled Jacob a few times, he would have REALLY opened his eyes.

We took some pictures of him this weekend, so that we could compare him to Jacob. This is our famous coke can pictures. We use a coke can because everyone know how big the cans are. Jacob is at the top and Gabe is at the bottom.


The next set of pictures are Greg's wedding band. When we placed it on Jacob's arm and it went all the way down to his shoulder. When we placed it on Gabe's hand, it wouldn't even go over his hand. We could have probably forced it, but we didn't IN CASE we couldn't get it off. Gabe is on the top and Jacob is on the bottom.


On a side note. I have not bled to death. BUT if my incision doesn't close and the bleeding hasn't completely stopped, I will be back in the OR this week. Not sure how they will fix it, but it has to be fixed.
Thank you for all the prayers over the last few weeks. Continue to remember us. Everyday can bring us good and bad surprises. We hope that Gabe lasts on the c-pap machine, but we also know that he might have to go back to vent. That is just part of this journey we are on.

Kangaroo Love

I am very glad to be home, but getting here was quite a interesting journey. My staples were removed on Wednesday morning. In the process of getting ready to leave, my incision decided to bleed. Not like, oh you need a band aid. More like..."OH MY GOSH>>> Let me get the other nurses and doctors. This is quite impressive. I have NEVER seen anyone bleed like this 4 days later. And I have been in nursing for 15 years!!!" Not something you want your nurse to say. They told me MANY times that I was NOT going to bleed to death, but I was STILL not so sure. I made Greg hurry to the hospital. Of course, he was home because he was with Jacob being Mr. Mom. But I needed someone with me while I bled to death.
Two different doctors told me this was normal. (I'm still not sure if I believe that!!) They bandaged me up REAL good and gave me extra bandages. So, I got to go home.
On a good note, yesterday I got to hold Gabe for the first time. When I came in to the NICU to do my 3 minute hand scrub down, the doctor was standing there. I asked her if this was the same deal as when I got to hold Jacob for the 1st time. I reminded her that Jacob was a week old and she had called us at 4am to come to the hospital, that Jacob was not going to live much longer. When we get there, it was decided (not by me), that I would hold him before he was gone. I was not big on this plan, but the nurse was determined that I WAS going to hold him and I did. The doctor said that Gabe was a totally different story than Jacob. That he was stable, having a great day, and needed to be held by him mommy. So hold him I did. Its called Kangaroo Care. Gabe was placed inside my shirt and we were skin to skin. That is why in the pictures you will see only a tiny little head. And you will notice he is sporting his big brothers Alabama hat (from his NICU days).

While we were holding Gabe, we got some good news. Gabe's brain scan came back good, meaning no brain bleeds. Its VERY common for micro preemies to have brain bleeds causing all types of issues and problems now and later in life. We will have a scan weekly, and we pray that all show up negative for bleeds.
Nurse Misti has Gabe today. She has been with us since the night Jacob was born. Gabe was going to get his first taste of milk today. He is getting 1 cc every 6 hrs. An ounce is 30 cc's, so Gabe is going 1/30 of an ounce. Hopefully, he will tolerate it. We pray that Gabe will be a fatty soon, and love to eat. Continue to remember us in your thoughts and prayers.

Gabriel William Adkins

We have a name. We have been stalked by family, friends, relatives, hospital employees and insurance people asking for a name. To me, a name is important. When you choose a name, you have to think does it make a good kids name? Does it make a good adult name? Does it make a good grandparent name? My name was a good kid name and a good adult name. I really don't think it will make a good grandparent name. Grandma Tasha, doesn't have a ring to it at all. ANYWAY....We chose Gabriel William. Gabriel means God's able-bodied one and William means determined. We will call him Gabe for short. When I told Gabe his new name, he small little hand grabbed my finger. It was sealed then as his name. Yes, its a Big name for a little boy. I feel that this name will fit him and his situation in life.
Gabe has had a good day today. I was able to change his diaper, touch him and take his temperature. Yes, they have diapers for 1 lb babies.
He was switched to a different type of vent. Jacob was also this type of vent for a little while-Jacob hated it, but Gabe LOVES it. It reminds me of a quarter bed at a cheap hotel. Gabe did lose a little weight since birth. This is to be expected. He is down to 1 lb 9 oz. Gage has TONS of hair on his head and body. You can already see his eyebrows. They are just like his daddy's-bushy. And he has long eyelashes. I think he will also red hair in the near future. We don't know the color of his eyes yet. He is still like a baby kitten, and hasn't opened his eyes. I am holding out hoping that eye color will be brown like mine. But I am sure he will have blue eyes like his daddy and his big brother. I think we will have another mini Greg. Maybe Gabe will have my dimples just like Jacob does.
Life for Gabe is day by day. Today can be an excellent. And tomorrow can be a WHOLE different story. There will be alot of one step forwards and 3 steps back. Everyday will be a different day. Greg and I are no strangers to heartache and disappointment when it comes to life with a micro-preemie. Our prayer and hope is that we have an easy road this time. That in May, we will walk out of the NICU with our Gabe.
Please continue to lift us up in your prayers. And please pray that our NICU journey will be short and full of success in everything that happens in the next few months.